During my time travelling to and from college, I had about 15-20 minutes to sit and think (and listen to music, some of which was moody, hence the poetry). So, I hastily typed a couple of poems into my phone. I think my worries about college and the way I was feeling are obvious in these... quite moody, indeed.

********
How many times
Do I have to say it?
It hurts, okay?
My God, it hurts.
The ache won’t dull
And the agony won’t ease
What am I supposed to do
When I can’t see straight?
All I see is you
A hazy figure
Far away
Oh, how I wish I was long sighted!

********
I touch your hand
And it's cold
I look into your eyes
But they're distant
I reach to kiss you
But there's no return
I feel no love
And I have to wonder
Are we dead
Or is it just me?

********
I try to find he right words
But you have them
In that box of my stuff
You refuse to return

You know that stuffed bear was ours
But I'll give you custody

That Guitar Hero was mine
But you can have it

Keep the keepsakes for the sake of us

But that shirt is mine.

I don't know why you're making this a battle
Why would you even want to remember?

I gave you back your hoodie, your hat
And that half wasted Sharpie you damn near cried for

All I really want back
Is myself
You took so much of it
I can barely recall...

How many dress sizes was I forced to lose?
What colour was my hair before you?
How do I put on make-up, again?
What are friends?
(I'm sure I had some...)

********
Why is it you come to me
In tortured thoughts
Of what might have been?
Playing out the past
Only to show me
What will never be.

Living in the fantasy kills me
Slowly
Fairytales are just for children
Which is how you made me feel
A little girl.

Why should I have any say
In how my heart is battered?
In who to love?
In how to be broken?

So, go get the king’s horses and men
I’m begging you, please
Fix me.
Stitch up my heart
Piece together my mind
Comb out my hair
Tell me I’m beautiful.

But you won’t
Will you?
Because that would mean
Fairytales could exist
But they don’t
And they can’t
And they won’t

I’ll stay in the dream
And sleep forever
Pierce me with a spindle
So I can be close with you
Once more
Once again
“Once upon a time”